Stalking My Act II: The Act Strikes Back

Stalking My Act II: The Act Strikes Back (050307)

I wrote a story during our Landmark Advanced Class (LAC). The story
was "Stalking My Act". It was the rather good Story of how I found
my "real" Act. My Act in the LAC was "I don't need you, you're
worthless". Instead of doing my last two enrollment conversations, I
nailed down my "real" Act by getting my Story perfect. I did three
drafts of my Story and I really wanted to read it to my group. They
said "that STORY doesn't seem real", so I put it aside and continued
sharing extemporaneously. Things worked out splendidly and
powerfully by staying in the present, sharing and NOT WASTING TIME
AND ENERGY TRYING TO BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Thanks Group!

When I woke up this morning, I had a headache, a neck ache and my
sinuses were congested (The Act Strikes Back). I quickly took some
motrin and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH and did some yoga and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH to
try and stop the SUFFERING.

I realized I wasn't being who I created (Fun). I thought Sharing
might help. My headache, congestion and neck pain disappeared when I
started writing this sharing (way before the medication took
effect).

I got to a point in writing this Sharing where I wanted to express
myself more powerfully using bold and colored text. The Act put me
onto a 30 minute quest to figure out a way all of us could share in
the YahooGroup using some sort of HTML editor. While I was doing
this, my headache and neck ache started coming back. I Got "getting
the words right and keeping the Sharing going is infinitely more
important than the font of the words". Not only did this 30 minutes
impact my Sharing, it also wasted 30 minutes I could use to do
something else later today.

I think my Act is not "I don't need you, you're worthless". I think
it's bigger than that. I'm wondering if it keeps getting bigger to
where it gets to the point where The Act is simply a way of being
that keeps me from being who I want to be. Not needing anybody and
being painless and perfect is definitely in it. Does the quest keep
me from being who I want to be?

I'm going back to being Fun.

Love
Joe

P.S. I'm going to re-read the book called Illusions by Richard Bach.
From what I remember of it, I think it will knock my socks off again.